Thursday, November 8, 2007

I Ran Over a Twinkie on the Way to the Treadmill

Weigh-In: 243.8


It came out of nowhere, like a squirrel who suddenly changes his mind while crossing the road only to make an about face into the tread of a tire.

Except instead it was the tread of my running shoe.

It turns out I killed it.

Goodbye, sweet Twinkie. Goodbye.

No longer will you find your way into my middle, lodging yourself into my artery as your cousin the HoHo wraps itself around my love handles.

Where is the rest of your family? Will I see them again?

Perhaps.

However, it will be on my terms, understand? If your Twinkie brethren try to force themselves into my life as you did, they will find they've met the same fate.

I will step on them.

Be weary, be warned, Twinkie. Your overpopulation is about to be thinned. The world is no longer safe for you.

4 comments:

Rob Tucker said...

I wish I could I hardly knee ye, but alas, I did.

Adios, processed food.

Ripx180 said...

Love the complete randomness of this blog :). I have never been a huge fan of the Twinkie. Now you just need to get to the fair and start stomping the deep fried variety of Twinkies. How are you, the wife, and dog settling in together? Hopefully well.

Beck said...

Good for you! Twinkies are a tough breed to overcome, but it sounds like you're doing it. Keep it up. And hey, pass along the will power. I need some over here! ;)

Melissa said...

Okay when I saw that picture I said, yum. lol But yes goodbye twinkie, goodbye! Love this blog :)