Uhm...what?!

Wagon? Where are you?

Damn it. I hate to post this, but I've fallen off the wagon and it's time to come clean. 3 weeks ago tomorrow I ran a half marathon. What have I done since then? Ate a lot of crap. Ran a few miles a few times (maybe 3 times total), lifted one day a week, and then ate some more. I drank a bit too. I over ate a few times. I didn't weigh myself much, going a few weeks without doing so.

Where am I now? I weigh 222 this morning. Holy crap! That's 20 pounds above my lowest average ever. It hurts. I did it.

I have to say, BMI says that based on my height and build, i should be 199. I don't want to be 199 because if I was I'd have not much muscle on my frame. There's just no way. What I'd like to get back to, albeit with less fat and more muscle is about 208-210. So I have 12 pounds to lose.

I do know that I've gained muscle, both in my legs and upper body. I can bench almost double what I could a year ago when I was 202, and I wear the same size waist jeans, however they got tight in the thighs. I ran a LOT over the winter and I think the thighs are tight because of that because I can see lots of muscle in my thighs..

But all that stuff aside I've gained some fat. There is no way I haven't.

My problem is that I set goals for myself, I meet them, then I flounder for a while after I meet my goal. I flounder goal-less. Normally I'd be OK because I'd be riding my bike, but so far this spring the weather has been crap, so I haven't been riding, I'm still eating like I'm riding, and I've put on weight. I'm pissed at myself but at the same time, HUNGRY! ALL THE TIME!

Time to get back to daily weigh-ins (I started 2 days ago), time to get some runs in if I'm not riding (I ran this morning) and time to come up with some damn fitness related goals (still working on that, although I do have a 10 mile organized run to do in a month).

I REFUSE TO GAIN ANY MORE WEIGHT.

That is all. I've come clean. I'm going to fix it. Here I go...


EDIT - FOLLOW UP:

It's now a day after I made this post, and I have a day under my belt of close to perfect eating and my weight is down 4 pounds from yesterday to 218.6. I'm still about 8 pounds above where I want to be, but I feel a little more in control now because I think the 222 weigh in that freaked me out was ne of those random high ones. That said, everything I posted above still stands, and I am on a mission to get back to where I want to be.

Mark it done!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm happy to announce I've met a personal goal of mine. Today I completed the SunTrust National Half Marathon in Washington DC.

I'll go into more detail about the race when I'm not about to fall asleep, but I will tell you that I did not meet my secondary goal of running the half marathon in less than 2 hours. That is because I ran it in EXACTLY 2 hours, down to the tenth of the second. You can see the results here which show me (search for Brian Payne) coming in 2062nd place out of 4150. So exactly 2 hours was my time with an overall average pace of 9:10 per mile. The second half of the race I was faster than the first which is kinda interesting...

Anyhow, I'm very happy with the results and I also know next time I'll post an even better number. But for now I'm beat, have sore knees, and need to go to bed so I'll fill you in on the details later.

-Brian

Half Marathon getting close...

I'm at the end of week 9 of my 10 week long half marathon training. The is down in DC next Saturday the 21st of March. I'm excited about it. I'm excited because I'm looking forward to seeing if I can get under the 2 hour mark. I'm also excited because I really miss riding my bike. That's something I really haven't been able to do much, partly because of the weather but mostly because of my training. I plan to start to ride to work again the week after the run.

I found out that you can't wear headphones during the Half, which kinda sucks. That's actually the main thing I'm worried about as music really helps me not focus so much on the run and pass the time.

I have one more longer training run of 8 miles this Saturday and I plan to not wear headphones just to see how it goes. I want to mimic what it will be like the day of the race as best I can.

So yeah, back to riding my bike after the run, although I did sign up for a 10 mile Broad Street run the first week of May. That will be nice to keep me in decent running shape until then.

I like to keep myself busy and keep setting clear goals that are exercise oriented. I've found that as long as I have something to focus on that I'm interested in I'm good. It's when I'm floating around in no-mans-land, just randomly trying to stay in shape where I look back and realize I had not worked out for 2 weeks. I don't know how some people just fit in workouts when they can randomly. That would never work for me. I do know that everyone is different and you have to work with your schedule...

Lastly , about my last post; I do realize I came across a bit harsh and probably a bit like a dick, and I am sorry I seem to have offended some people, but I still stand by what I said. I only say it because I know I spent YEARS blaming my "self issues" on outside things. It wasn't until I took accountability for them that I could take control. In the end I just want everyone to know that my intentions in that post were good regardless of how they may have come across. I hate to see people fail and find themselves unhappy with themselves, especially when they know what they're capable of. I also understand everyone has their issues and there is no one formula for everyone.
Sometimes people just need a kick in the ass though. Call me insensitive or short sighted if you must.

OK, that's it, I'm blabbering. I hope everyone is well, doing what makes you happy. That is all.

Later

LIFESTYLE CHANGE, REMEMBER THAT?

I'm annoyed.

Why am I annoyed? Because I'm tired of reading about people in the same boat as me fail.

How many people lose lots of weight, then gain it all or a lot of it back?

How many people stop setting goals for themselves?

How many people stop keeping a constant monitor on their weight to keep it in acceptable range?


Lots.

Maybe most.

WHY?

What is one of the main things we always talk about when we go down this road of getting healthy?


THIS IS A LIFESTYLE CHANGE!!!

Do you know what that means? That means there is no maintain. There is no "life gets in the way". There is no crash diet. There is no make time to work out/eat better etc.

Healthy is your life now. Committed isn't even the word. When you set out to get in shape, lose weight, get healthy, you committed to be a different/better/more aware person. Healthy lifestyle is not a hobby, it's not a fleeting idea that fades. It's not an idea for a neat blog. It's what you are now.It is you.

Stop making excuses, stop blaming things on life, stop getting angry at yourself, stop trying to fit health into your busy lifestyle. Just stop.

Healthy IS YOUR LIFESTYLE. Life fits into healthy, not the other way around. This is what you are now. You own your own actions , they do not own you.

I know this comes across like a preaching email, but I'll make no apology. Make a decision as to what you are and stick with it, otherwise you're not being true to yourself.

I've used the word too, but I'm done; there is no more "maintain", there is just you. Take responsibility for your actions and use them to be the person you want to be. Do it now or die regretting it!

Feeling bad about yourself is a absolute waist of time. Erase that shit from life and just do what the hell you need to do. Everybody fails. That's normal, but when it becomes an every day pattern, you need to do something. You already know what you need to do. Do it! NOW!

Or ignore me and go back to feeling bad about yourself, but I'm done reading about it.

I have no time for people who give up, and I'm not sorry about that.

I'm done.

Recovery

Time for an update. I'm now into the last 3 weeks of my training for the Half. The bad news is that I got sick last week and missed my Thursday and Saturday run. Perfectly bad timing as the Saturday run was the pinnacle of my training and the longest run before the Half. The good news is that I'd already run that amount a few weeks ago. I tried to run on Sunday, still not recovered from being sick and wimped out after 4.5 miles. I just didnt have it in me. Then yesterday, I missed that run because we had a huge storm, my car was in the shop and I had no way to get to work to run. I worked from home, and running outside yesterday would not have been possible.

So today I'm back on the wagon, finally feeling strong again and I knocked out 4 miles this morning, making up for yesterday's miss. The race is about 2.5 weeks away. I don't feel as good about it now as I would had I not gotten sick, but I'm still comfortable that I'll be finishing the race.

Baja Fresh Pork Tostata Salad and New 4 Mile Time

Today I bested my 4 mile time by a half a minute or so and ran it on the treadmill in 34:00 flat. That's a 8:30 average which for me isn't too shabby. Tomorrow is a rest day and then I have another 12 miles on Saturday.

In other news, yesterday at lunch I got a "Salad" at Baja Fresh with Pork, veggies, a small amount of sour cream, avocado, and some other stuff. I noticed the salad weighed what seemed like 2 pounds. Now, I don't really count my calories any more because I have a pretty good idea what I'm putting in my body from my experience watching it so closely over the past year and a half. But out of curiosity I looked it up.

Here's what I found:



doh! Lucky for me I did burn about 600 calories earlier in the day, but still, look at that saturated fat content!
I wasn't far off on the weight either as it's listed as weighing 1 pound 11 ounces!

Crazy.

After that moment of reality I buttoned up my diet for the rest of the day and stayed under my maintenance number, but still. It just goes to show how a few "lax" meals can very soon turn into weight gain. It also goes to show that as most of us probably already know, just because it's a salad doesn't mean it's healthy!

I guess there is one positive, that salad combined with the shakes I have in the morning had enough protein to feed a horse.

With as much running and lifting as I've been doing, it's really hard to eat well all the time because as much as I eat I'm hungry all the time. I think my body is a calorie burning machine right now. Unless I keep healthy food in front of me at all times it's really hard not to justify having cheat meals all over the place since I know I'm burning so many calories.

I gotta try to stop that and dial that in a little better.

I also have to go get something to eat because I'm starving right now. Later :)

New 5 Mile Time

I bested my 5 mile record by 2 minutes. Not really on purpose, moreso because I didnt feel like running so I figured the faster I ran the sooner it would be over.

5 miles - 43:26.