Uhm...what?!

Wagon? Where are you?

Damn it. I hate to post this, but I've fallen off the wagon and it's time to come clean. 3 weeks ago tomorrow I ran a half marathon. What have I done since then? Ate a lot of crap. Ran a few miles a few times (maybe 3 times total), lifted one day a week, and then ate some more. I drank a bit too. I over ate a few times. I didn't weigh myself much, going a few weeks without doing so.

Where am I now? I weigh 222 this morning. Holy crap! That's 20 pounds above my lowest average ever. It hurts. I did it.

I have to say, BMI says that based on my height and build, i should be 199. I don't want to be 199 because if I was I'd have not much muscle on my frame. There's just no way. What I'd like to get back to, albeit with less fat and more muscle is about 208-210. So I have 12 pounds to lose.

I do know that I've gained muscle, both in my legs and upper body. I can bench almost double what I could a year ago when I was 202, and I wear the same size waist jeans, however they got tight in the thighs. I ran a LOT over the winter and I think the thighs are tight because of that because I can see lots of muscle in my thighs..

But all that stuff aside I've gained some fat. There is no way I haven't.

My problem is that I set goals for myself, I meet them, then I flounder for a while after I meet my goal. I flounder goal-less. Normally I'd be OK because I'd be riding my bike, but so far this spring the weather has been crap, so I haven't been riding, I'm still eating like I'm riding, and I've put on weight. I'm pissed at myself but at the same time, HUNGRY! ALL THE TIME!

Time to get back to daily weigh-ins (I started 2 days ago), time to get some runs in if I'm not riding (I ran this morning) and time to come up with some damn fitness related goals (still working on that, although I do have a 10 mile organized run to do in a month).

I REFUSE TO GAIN ANY MORE WEIGHT.

That is all. I've come clean. I'm going to fix it. Here I go...


EDIT - FOLLOW UP:

It's now a day after I made this post, and I have a day under my belt of close to perfect eating and my weight is down 4 pounds from yesterday to 218.6. I'm still about 8 pounds above where I want to be, but I feel a little more in control now because I think the 222 weigh in that freaked me out was ne of those random high ones. That said, everything I posted above still stands, and I am on a mission to get back to where I want to be.