Yup, still here. Two whole days and going strong :)
I did well today on the food front. Made sure to eat breakfast where I had a small bowl of cream of wheat and a coffee. For lunch i had a giant salad. I forget all that was in it but it did NOT have cheese, dressing with any fat in it, or anything that was glaringly bad.
I didn't do any snacking except for about 6 skittles that someone had sitting on the desk behind mine. Not a good thing to be eating but I at least was aware of what I was doing and really did stop at 6, just a small handful. Basically the theme here is that I'm the one in control.
By the time I got home a bit ago I was starving and had a probably 160ish calorie no fat bowl of cereal with skim milk. Again, I didn't say I was eating healthy, just that I'm in control and not taking in a crap load of calories.
This is important because all around me both at work and at home are bad temptations. I have to make my son mac and cheese for dinner and not eat any. Candy type snacks all over the place at work, and so on. I plan to take a trip to Trader Joe's and get some better snacks to have on hand at my desk at work, which i expect to be a big help. The temptations are always going to be around so I have to get back to managing them better. Having better alternatives at hand was a huge help last time I did this and eventually it became second nature.
Aside from all of that if I'm lucky I'll go for a short run tonight after the kids are in bed and my wife gets home.
As I mentioned before there is no way I'll be able work out twice a day 6 days a week like I was basically doing when I lost 100 pounds in six months in 2007. This is a different animal this time, but I know I can make it work.
the huge elephant hanging over my head right now is the part where I weigh myself. I'm a numbers guy, and it's a huge motivator for me to be able to measure my success in numbers, even if I'm just seeing a pound or two a week. The catch 22 is that I'm not ready for the mental setback and pissed off scene I'm going to have when I see whatever that number is. I'm hoping by this time next week I'll be mentally ready to get on the scale. But who knows, maybe I'll do it sooner.
I will give you some other numbers in the name of coming clean.
July 2007 waist size in jeans - 44
July 2009 waist size in jeans - 34
July 2010 waist size in jeans - 36/38 (ouch, it hurts to write that)
July 2007 weight - 300 I think (I'll have to check the first page of this blog when I'm done writing this :) )
July 2008 weight - 204 (only really maintainable for me if I'm super active and eating perfectly. I'm 6'3 and not a small guy)
July 2009 weight - 215-220 - this is what I think is my sweet spot. Still fit into 34 pants. Looked OK without a shirt on, could still eat some cheese or some beers now and again. This is where I'd like to get back to.
July 2010 weight - ??? - I'm going to guess at best case high 240's, at worst high 250's. If I went and weighed myself now and it was over 260 I think I'd cry.
So there are some numbers to work with until I get hard current numbers. Not ideal, but it did feel good coming clean.It's never too late right?
One of the hardest parts for me is that I really not only felt good about myself before, but I felt like an inspiration to others because of all that weight I lost. Now I feel like I'm borderline looking like another douche bag who is on the way to gaining it all back. It used to be that people who I had not seen in forever commented how I was a changed man. Now no one says anything.
Silence is bad in this case.
Working on changing that and starting with me. Booyah!
Still here, still working
7 years ago
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2 comments:
I hear you on feeling like a douche bag... I have been 5-10 pounds away from my goal 2 or 3 times now to f-up and put back on 20-30. If you can put half the effort you put into your last go round you will still kick some azz and I am sure find yourself in that "sweet spot" in the not to far off future. Keep on keeping on.
Thanks Rip! The big difference this time is the exercise part. I relied on that heavily last time. If I ate something bad or went a little overboard I'd just ride,run it off. It's really hard for me right now to get that stuff in. I'm struggling to do it 3 days a week. When my daughter gets a little older and on a better schedule I'm hoping that part will change. SHe's only 4 weeks old.
Anyway, thanks for being there man! You've been reading and supporting for a really long time and I really appreciate it. These blogs really do help me stay motivated.
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