FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! Right?

AS has been said thousands of times by probably thousands of people, maintenance is a bitch! I mean, if you break it down it isnt. Is it technically hard to weight yourself regularly? No. Is it hard to limit your intake somewhat? No. Is it hard to get a normal amount of exercise when you can? Not really.

But put it all together? Is it hard to keep that mindset day in and day out for the rest of your life? Yeah, for me it is. Here's my deal: I focus on things and they consume me. Weight loss and fitness was one of them.
When I stop making them my #1 priority they fall off somewhat. They don't completely disappear but they definitely fall off some. When a healthy fit lifestyle falls off a little we pay the price, and before you know it if you're not careful you find yourself in an unhappy situation again.

Duh.

So of course that said, it's clear I havent been keeping the healthy lifestyle as much as I'd of liked to. Let's break it down.

Here's the bad:

- I haven't weighed myself in a while. Like probably some months. I'm kinda afraid too which is a bad thing. I just don't want to be depressed and pissed off by the number.

- Eating hasn't been good for a while. Holidays, not into counting calories or paying much attention to intake. Not mentally in it. Call it what you want but eating hasnt been great.

I guess that's the extent of the bad.

Here's the good:

- Still working out. I biked up until late November, then I started running again. I'm going to run the half marathon again and I'm in my second week of training for that.

- I suppose I'll count that I'm still thinking about my health and worried about things getting out of hand as a good thing. Obviously if I wasnt even admitting I need to get back on track then I'd be back on the road to blubber.

So there you have it. Some shirts are getting a little tight. I went up a jeans size from a 34 to a 36 about a month and a half ago. No one is calling me fat and no one has told me I look like I've gained weight, but I can tell. I know I have and that's all that really matters. What is different for me this time if that you're not going to see me going all out living a 100% completely healthy lifestyle like I did when I lost 100 pounds in 6 months. It's not sustainable. My goal this time is just to dial it in a little bit. Get back on track. Get back into a 34" waist pant. Start weighing myself again, just not every day. But I do have to say I don't think I'm ready to weigh myself yet. I want to give myself another week of marathon training and decent eating...I know, some of you will disagree with that, but it's what I want to do.

I'll also be posting again until I feel I'm back where I want to be. In a 34" jeans, feeling good again. Ha! that's funny, because I never felt 100% good even when I weighed 200 pounds. I always felt like I still had love handles and some flab. Even in this pic I felt flabby and not how I wanted:


Now I look at it and wish I was there again. So it's a bit of a state of mind. Finding what's comfortable for you I guess.

Here's me a few months ago:



felt fat there.

here i am about a month and a half ago:

i know it's not the best pic because of the big bulging jacket, but i felt fat there too.

anyway, I don't know what I'm saying anymore, except that I want to be back in a 34" pants and I want to feel good about myself. I'm not there right now. But is the grass always greener on the other side? I just don't know.

Talk to you soon.